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[Monday
November 14th, 2005
12:15am] |
] I am bisexual or homosexual.
[X] I've consumed alcohol.
[X] I've run away from home.
[X] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[ ] I don't like Bush because from what I hear, he is dumb.
[ ] I don't like Bush with my own reasons to back it up.
[X] I am for Bush.
[ ] I listen to political music.
[ ] I collect comic books. (sorta)
[X] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[] I open up to others easily.
[X] I am keeping a secret from the world
[] I watch the news.
[X ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[X] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[X] I own something from Hot Topic.
[X] I love Disney Movies.
[X] I am a sucker for hair/eyes.
[] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I curse. ((ish? not habitually..))
[X] I paid for that cell phone ring.
[X] I am a sports fanatic.
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[X] I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation. ((on PURPOSE to be FUNNY))
[] I love Spam.
[] I bake well.
[X] I would wear pajamas to school. ((i do every day haha))
[] I own something from Abercrombie.
[] I have a job.
[ ] I love Martha Stewart.
[X] I am in love with love.
[] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS. ((baha))
[X] I like to laugh.
[ ] I smoke a pack a day.
[ ] I loved Perks of Being a Wallflower.
[ ] I loved Go Ask Alice. Even though I now know it was fake.
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[] I can't swallow pills.
[X ] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.
[X] I have many scars.
[] I've been out of this country.
[ ] I believe in ghosts.
[] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[X] I am really ticklish.
[ ] I see a therapist.
[] I love white chocolate.
[] I bite my nails.
[] I play video games.
[] I'm single.
[X ] I'm in a relationship.
[] Gotten lost in the city you live in.
[X] Saw a shooting star. ((awe;kalsjdfa i loved that nite! "the start of something good"))
[] I had a serious surgery.
[X] Gone out in public in your pajamas.
[X] I have kissed a stranger. ((i'm so ashamed))
[x] Hugged a stranger.
[X] Been in a fist fight.
[X] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[X] Made out in an elevator. ((balahsfhahahaha))
[X] Swore at your parents.
[x] Kicked a guy where it hurts.
[XXXX] Been in love. ((haha why does that look like INTENSE porn?))
[] Been to a casino.
[ ] Been skydiving.
[] Broken a bone.
[X] Skipped school
[] Flashed someone
[X] Saw a therapist.
[X] Played spin the bottle
[] Gotten stitches.
[ ] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[X] Bitten someone.
[ ] Been to Niagara Falls.
[X] Gotten the chicken pox.
[X] Kissed a member of the same sex. ((again, ashamed))
[] Crashed into a friend's car
[] Been to Japan
[] Ridden in a taxi.
[ ] Shoplifted.
[ ] Been fired.
[ ] Ever had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[X] Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[ ] Stole something from your job.
[] Gone on a blind date.
[X] Lied to a friend.
[x ] Had a crush on a teacher ((COACH NEALLLLL))
[ ] Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] Slept with a co-worker.
[ ] Been married.
[ ] Gotten a divorce.
[ ] Had children.
[X] Been on a plane
[X] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show. ((love it-- SO weird))
[ ] Thrown up in a bar.
[X] Eaten Sushi.
[ ] Been snowboarding. ((WANT TO!))
[X] Been skiing. ((on the water))
[X] Met someone in person from the internet. ((if i met people i went to high school with on the internet first then yah))
[ ] Been to a motorcross show.
[ ] Lost a child.
[x ] Gone to college.
[ ] Graduated from college.
[ ] Done hard drugs.
[X] Taken painkillers.
[X] Had someone cheat on you. ((i'd still love to kill him))
[X] Miss someone right now ((gahhh, so bad))
i don't know why i did that
it was the biggest waste of time when i COULD Be sleeping...
going to DO that :o)
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[Monday
October 17th, 2005
3:54pm] |
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jf;lsafd i'm a liar! i can't find them!
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[Monday
August 1st, 2005
6:35pm] |
1. ONE WISH?
To stop being torn in 92034 directions about 329048 things
2. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
A lover... but a fighter when you mess with me
3. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
... honestly, i can't put my finger on one-- I guess to love everyone I love
4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
pssh, unfortunately no.
5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY" TV?
ridiculous and a definite waste of my time
6. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
nope, but i make wishes on the wrappers
7. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
haha i had curls- i guess i was alright
8. IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
i'd rather not but sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do
9. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
uhm, off white and grey?
10. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
when no one's home
11. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
no, but i really want to
12. ANY SECRET TALENTS?
mmm, i crochet baha
13. WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
anywhere that allows me to get away completely
14. IS JAY LENO FUNNY?
meh
15. CAN YOU SWIM?
yes'm
16. DO YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OZONE?
well yah-- but i'm not gunna go out and protest or anything
17. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE ROLL POP?
487.3
18. CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
slowly, yes
19. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?
yep- today, actually
20. ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD?
nope
21. DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENERS?
i prefer mechanical pencils, actually
22. WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
silly and a waste of time... how can you not feel bad for murdering animals?
23. IS THERE MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
i'd like to think so
24. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
every now and then...
25. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
nothing that i know of... although sometimes i worry about almonds
26. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU"?
about 10 minutes ago
27. IS ELVIS STILL ALIVE?
nope and i'm not positive that i care, haha
28. DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
absolutely
29. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
in cake. haha
30. ARE BLONDES DUMB?
as dumb as brunettes
31. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
pardon!? i'm not sure that makes sense..
32. WHAT TIME IS IT?
6:57
33. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
plenty, yah
34. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
in every way
35. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?
2 minutes ago
36. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
either, really- baths are so relaxing
37. IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
in my mind, yes
38. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
... mmmmaybe
39. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
when i freak myself out about it, yah
40. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
diet coke ((cherry especially))
41. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
changes with my mood... but usually smooth
42. CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
yah, really loud too
43. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
nope
44. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?
three times
45. IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
yes'm
46. ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
depends on how tired i am
47. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
greenish bluish weird
48. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
for the most part
49. LIQUOR OR BEER?
liquor
50. ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
psychic? nah... but weird things do happen
51. HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"?
nope
52. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
used to play sax, currently play guitar
53. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
joking around, yah- but i always give it back
54. CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?
i'd love to try
55. DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?
yah
56. DO YOU SNORT WHEN U LAUGH?
if you get me going enough
57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
magic in the form of miracles, yes
59. ARE DOGS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?
well, not actually
60. YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
if it makes the person happier, yah- but i won't do it
61. CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
kinda?
62. DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES?
according to others, yah
63. IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
not really... but cooler than lately
64. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
a piece of tropical gum
65. DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
rarely
66. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN KISSED?
...? yes.
67. WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING COMMERCIAL?
don't watch tv
68. DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
yes- i'd buy everything there if i wasn't worrying about saving money for school
69. DO YOU SNORE?
i used to
70. FAVORITE SONG AT THE MOMENT?
Don't Drink the Water- DMB
((terribly bored.))
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[Monday
May 16th, 2005
4:55pm] |
The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.
-Friedrich Nietzsche
why am i OBSESSED with that quote?
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[Wednesday
May 11th, 2005
2:34pm] |
I'm PSYCHED.
1. I worked for 6 hours Sunday and got $230. HENCE the reason I tell everyone to wait tables! Now, I can get a new cell phone and that excites me because ANYONE who has seen the one I'm using now could tell you how beat up it is! *THUMBS UP*
2. I've got an AMAZING job lined up at Carowinds where I will be making GOOD MONEY to just go around and talk to people. Also, Jonathan is my boss and he's SUCH a great guy that I know this summer will be a BREEZE.
3. So this whole car issue is NOT an issue any longer because I definitely have taken over Mom's stealth! Granted, I have to pay for the OUTRAGEOUS prices of gas, I'm okay with it because HELLO- I have a car to drive.
4. Everything with friends is falling back into place and I'm so thankful for that. For a while there, I was really concerned with how this summer was going to go but as of now, I'm pretty faithful about it. *Thank God.*
5. I GET TO TRY OUT FOR THE USC DANCE TEAM THIS SATURDAY!! Dude, if i MADE it, I can't even tell you all how excited I would be. Let me repeat- the USC DANCE TEAM. They perform at the games and have you SEEN that stadium!? Sheesh... I seriously almost had a heart attack when I found out I could audition. *PRAYING*
and lastly!
6. It's almost summer. And with summer comes warm weather. And with warm weather comes HAPPINESS and with happiness, well, life is great! Things are looking up and regardless of the fact that they're not going the way I had imagined them going, it's okay because I know better things are in store!
*I CAN'T WAIT*
I love you alllllllll! <33
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[Tuesday
May 10th, 2005
2:32pm] |
My heart has a decision making process which takes NOTHING into account- not time, not space, not age, not ANYTHING. It knows what it wants and leads me to believe that regardless of any other issue, I should make every prayer, thought, and action lead me toward my dreams.
My mind, on the other hand, is realistic and understands that I'm not always going to be able to get my way because there ARE factors outside of me that can affect the outcome. My mind sees the struggle, the downfalls, and the amount of work that must be done in order to achieve everything that I desire. It acts as a barrier or yield sign to my ambition and constantly makes me doubt the beliefs of my heart.
Finding the perfect mixture of the two is the most difficult thing to do at times. Everyone says to "follow your heart", but sometimes it isn't reasonable to do so. Everyone says "make sure you think it through", but in doing that, you can scare yourself out of every single thing.
So what do you do?
Sit back and wait for the things you want to come to you?
Or do you chase them down and take action toward making your dreams reality?
Do you wait for the "right time" or create the "right time"?
Do you approach the world or wait for the world to approach you?
I wish I knew because then, I might actually feel like I was going somewhere instead of sitting idle and wishing I knew what to do.
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[Sunday
May 8th, 2005
12:19am] |
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The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude, to me, is more important than facts.
It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do.
It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill.
It will make or break a company ...a church ...a home.
We cannot change our past.
We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.
We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.
-charles swindoll
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[Tuesday
May 3rd, 2005
11:03pm] |
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music |
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Jack Johnson- Better Together |
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I walked into this room on August 14th, 2004 to white concrete and apalled, Aubrey and I both used our body weight in tape to color this room with memories, pictures, and silly posters as a way to hide the ugliness.
And here I am again, apalled by the concrete because the color has been stripped, posters rolled, pictures packed away into boxes, and memories tucked away to a place where I can bring them out to share with everyone who wasn't there to experience them.
I wish I could accurately describe everything wonderful that this year has done for me and how horrible it feels to pack my things up and prepare to leave and come back to the world that I fled from so many months before. But I know it's the right move and through the heartache that has weighed on me for the past few days, I have so much faith in what is waiting for me back home. Something is drawing me back there and whatever it is, I'm so far past ready for it.
...but meanwhile, I'll suffer through the goodbyes and continue on with my bipolar cycle that's been taking place the past couple days because through it all, my faith will shine through and wonderful things will come to me. I just have to keep my eyes to the sky, that's all...
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[Thursday
April 28th, 2005
12:59am] |
"If only for today, I am unafraid"
Guys, I feel so much better... really- today has been that transitional day when I've finally decided to leave all of the nonsense behind and move on to better things... and trust me, it has felt so good. Katie's backkkkk... get ready :o)
So the big "move-out" has begun... I spent some time packing today and REALLY, the amount of useless trash in my room is completely ridiculous. I mean honestly, I packed 5 bags and you can't even tell a difference when you walk in here. But you'll have that when you try to cram all of MY stuff into a room that's a fourth of the size of what I'm used to... Mom and dad better get READY for this. Actually, come to think of it, they need to rent a UHaul... I think that'd work out a little better for us!
... It just hasn't all hit me yet and I'm waiting for the moment that it does so that I can stop feeling like I'm in denial about the entire situation. *sigh*
But, yes... I went to the dance program last nite and LET ME TELL YOU-- I can't wait to really dance again. I backed off this semester because I knew my work load was going to be unreal but gah, I really need it in my life again. I'm hoping that I can find a way to dance somehow over the summer-- even if it means getting a key to the studio and going crazy in there by myself... it needs to happen.
I did a lot of thinking today and I think I figured a LOT out! It's pretty exciting to feel laid back and content with whatever happens regardless of what I really WANT to happen. I know whose hands my fate is in so who am I to spend my time wanting something when it could possibly be different than has already been planned? I've just decided to take a deep breath, let life run its course, and enjoy the ride.
Honestly, I can't stress how much I've loved today. I've been so productive that I can hardly stand it and I'm finally so at PEACE. I did my "normal day activities" and then cleaned, ran, packed, did homework, shopped for Aubrey, and had a birthday celebration ((which BY THE WAY GUYS- it's Aub's birthday today... AubreyDanelle is her sn- SEND HER LOVE NOW!))
And I've got the best friends in the world... I know I say it all the time but seriously- I'm so lucky and I hope you all never forget that you are loved. The people here- it's so hard to tell you how I feel but trust me, when it comes time to leave you better be ready for some sap. And you all at home-- I know sometimes I don't stay in touch the way I should but you're in my thoughts all the time and I can't wait to see you guys soon :o)
wellll... haha I thought this was going to be an insightful entry and it's really just not... and I'm tired and for ONCE, you can actually see my bed and I don't have to throw clothes onto the floor in order to get in soooo yah... I'm just gunna have to head outta here but have a great day and I love y'all :o)
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[Saturday
April 23rd, 2005
6:19pm] |
I woke up today in psychology mode YET AGAIN and haven't been able to calm my thoughts since.
Sometimes, I think that others believe that I put myself on a pedestal and act like I deserve more than other people... and I can see how they think that but it's really not the case. I just know what I put in and I guess I expect the same amount out and when I don't get what I want, I get a little angry. I was talking to one of my managers at work the other day about this and I realized that I honestly have too high of expectations for not only MYSELF but for other people. I assume that people are going to BE understanding, generous, kind, unconditionally loving, and honest but it's NOT always like that. I'm even guilty of going back on those things regardless of how hard I try not to so who am I to get frustrated when other people do the same thing? I guess I just know what I deserve but sometimes, it seems so foreign and impossible to maintain... ya know what I mean? It's like I've got this great big plan in my head and as much as I want to work and strive to achieve it, I feel like things that aren't in my hands are going to stop it from coming true. People get on me all the time for being "overly optimistic" and I usually am, but today is different. Any other day, I would look at my life and be accepting of every single little thing whether it be good or bad but today is a "reality day" where I can step out of dream world and come face to face with the thoughts I never think. I don't think I like days like today and I can't imagine having this thought process every minute of every day. I might shoot myself, really. I hate to sound so angry and hurt but at the same time, I know it's part of the healing process and that in going through this, I'm THAT much closer to something wonderful.
My lyric of the day is something a friend of mine made me remember the other day::
"You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve"
How true is that? I've made a lot of promises to myself over the past few days and one is that I am seriously going to be more kind to the world because I honestly believe that kindness has so many benefits. And sure- part of it is for selfish reasons because I believe that "what goes around comes around." It does. Good will eventually come to those who are good but at the same time, bad will ultimately come to those who are bad. I just have to maintain patience which is SO HARD for me... but I'm faithful.
And I'd love to continue babbling about the meaning of the world but really- all that matters is that I can taste the sweetness of tomorrow through the bitterness of today. It's always been that way and always will be... the end :o)
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[Friday
April 22nd, 2005
2:49am] |
KMoneyBoSox: im so proud of you katie. what you did tonight took amounts of courage, confidence, faith, strength and determination that many many people could only wish to possess. you are amazing, and tonight you showed me just why you are my angel. continue in your strength and faith and stand by your word.
God speaks to me through him... I really believe that He does.
******************************************
TONITE, I HAVE LEARNED:
Sometimes, it is hard to do the right thing but regardless of how you feel in the moment, there is no greater feeling than walking away knowing that you have followed your beliefs fearlessly.
Sometimes, things just simply aren't meant to be and if you feel that God is guiding you away from something, don't betray Him and try to force anything into being right for you. What is right is that which God leads you wholeheartedly into, not what you bend to fit your wishes and desires.
No one is worth sacraficing yourself for or losing any piece of yourself for and the minute that happens, you know there is something wrong. The person who is right for you will not only cherish you for the beautiful things inside of you but they will bring out the absolute best that there is within you.
When you begin to notice that something is bringing you more grief than happiness, then what is the point of holding onto it? I'd rather be alone and on a quest for happiness than be stuck in a seemingly endless battle with someone else. Getting out of a bad situation only puts you that much closer to being truly happy.
Never regret a single thing that happens to you because regardless of the outcome, every event will teach you something about either the world or yourself. If it hurts, good- you'll know not to do it again. And if it makes you happy, hold on tight and hope for the best.
Never settle for less than what you deserve. Despite of the hope that someone can pump you full of, look with your own eyes instead of the eyes that someone else is trying to convince you to see through. YOU are the only one who knows what is best for YOU, so stand up for it and don't be persuaded into something that isn't everything you ever dreamt of.
And lastly, never ever EVER put someone before God. In my case, I want to find someone who can cherish my spirituality and help me grow and become closer to God... not someone who pulls me away from Him and, without meaning to, jeopardizes the relationship that I've worked so hard to build. Any relationship I have from here on out will have a strong Christian basis because I hold that so highly and now have proof that it is destined for failure if both of your eyes aren't looking toward God.
Tonight, I can walk away from my relationship with Jason knowing that nothing was lost. Instead, I've gained lessons, experience, and confidence and I can continue on my path with a smile. I am never broken and I never allow myself to come out on the bottom of a situation... and I know that might sound somewhat cocky but I mean it in reference to my outlook and nothing else. And I know exactly what is going to happen with him and his love life and I'm cool with it... I won't understand it but ya know what- that's not my business any longer. I'll just keep him in my prayers and hope that one day, he can find real happiness because, like everyone, he deserves it.
Aub, Karen, Annie, Kasey, Michael, Mom, and everyone else who has put up with me for the past week- thanks for challenging me, for being there to remind me of who I am, for not letting me go through with this, and for loving me even when I was defensive, stubborn, and stupid. You all mean the world to me and I mean this... I did SOMETHING right to get friends like you all and whatever it was, I need to start doing more of...
"Seeing things from a
Clearer side than most can dream
On a better road I feel
So you could say she's safe
Whatever tears at her
Whatever holds her down
And if nothing can be done
She'll make the best of what's around"
-Dave ((as always))
((come to think of it, doesn't this song show up EVERYWHERE!? haha))
<3
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[Thursday
April 21st, 2005
3:41pm] |
Cause I'm digging a ditch
Where all these troubles
That weigh down on me will rise
Where all these worries that hold heavy on my heart
Will die...
-DMB
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[Wednesday
April 20th, 2005
1:44pm] |
Conclusions of the day::
I think too much, I'm too ambitious about things, and I need to learn how to take my own advice.
But we won't go there because, well, that's MY stuff that I don't feel like having the ENTIRE world read all about it if that's okay! :o)
But either way-- the past few days have been rocky... it's been the first time since school started that I've had drama and I hate it. I've turned into such a hippy this year, I swear... I'm all about hugs and happiness and holding hands and skipping but that gives me trouble when I'm STUBBORN at the same time. Basically, it's all fun and games until someone crosses me or thinks they can walk all over me and at that point, I yank out my attitude and my pride and go from there. A few people have caught the bad end of this lately and I hate that but I think I'd be angry at myself if I didn't remain strong and stand up for my beliefs so meh... whatever :o) It's all blowing past and I've got 15 days left to have the TIME OF MY LIFE.
I always write these kind of entries but I just think it's cool that as much as I thought I had "found myself", I'm still learning new details every day about how I function, what pushes me, and how I need to handle things to feel good about myself without hurting others.
Really, sometimes I think I need to be a psychology major because I'm *so* amazed by people's emotions, tendencies, feelings, habits... everything. I ALWAYS look into people and try to understand them and I'd LOVE to do that as a career but I think it would have negative effects on me which I would NOT want.
But ANYWAYSSSS- I can't wait to go back to being the person that I was last summer. I've noticed myself slowly transforming back into that person over the past few days and gah, I just love the way I feel right now. I'm so faithful about everything and really NOT worried and it's such a breath of fresh air... I've just gotta get rid of some negative energy in my life and it should be smooth sailing from here out. ((insert lyrics from "Best of What's Around")) If I could find a way to feel like this year-round, I might SERIOUSLY be the happiest person EVER.
Thanks for reading my random deep-ness... as usual... haha-- y'all have a great one and I'll be back soon :o)
<33
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[Monday
April 18th, 2005
5:40pm] |
Pardon me while I bore you with another "Katie" entry... tehehe
This weekend was, no doubt, one of the worst weekends of my life for reasons that I'm not EVEN getting into but I woke up today with the mindset that I wasn't going to rest tonite until I felt peace within myself and until I found closure to all of the NONSENSE. And I'll have everyone know that the DRAMA IS DONE and now I can sleep at nite and quit clenching my fists and teeth so much. THANK GOODNESS
But let me just state one thing... I do NOT feel bad for people who are miserable and won't do anything about it. Never have been, never will be. I wish that people in this world could find a way to stop POUTING, grab their life by the horns, and step into the real world with their best face. I'll never act like I *always* do that and I know I *always* talk about this, but really guys... you're in charge of your happiness so GET WITH IT and stop feeling so sorry for yourself because you're driving me crazy. Thanks, guys :o)
So I've TOTALLY confirmed the thought of getting an apartment/house/non-dorm residence my junior year... now all I need is room mates. Oh well, I've got all next year to figure it out! How FUN would that be?! Sheesh, it just makes me so anxious...
Bible study today did a LOT for me... it's got me thinking a lot about my spirituality and where I'm going to take it... I've got big plans for this summer/next year and with the help of a GREAT guy I know, I hope to take it really far. But honestly, this is another story for another time and place...
Have you ever read a more RANDOM entry in your LIFE?! baha goodness
Well, I've decided that I *need* to get a new digital camera because honestly, I'm losing my MIND without one. I need pictures of all the girls before the end of school and that's final. ((Still in denail that I'm leaving... oh well- it'll sink in when it needs to haha))
Hmmm... what other POINTLESS stuff can I throw in here?!
Mmmm yah! So i'm coming to Kentucky TWICE this summer *RAWK ONNNN!*-- Once for Dave's shows in Indiana and another time for Karen's wedding and LET ME TELL YA- I'm slightly excited. This summer is gunna be so long, so full of work ((which means MONEY), but soooo amazingly fun. I can just taste it already...
I got REALLY excited today because I saw a Stealth and I was like DUDE, THERE IS ONE OF THOSE WAITING FOR ME AT HOME. I guess it's been hard for me to be REALLY excited about the new car because I haven't seen it in person yet... but I do know that Karen is gunna take me out sometime and help me get REALLY good at driving a stick so that EXCITES me. I don't wanna waste any time when I get home :o)
I'm getting a tattoo of a flower on either the top of my foot or on my ankle and I'm SO psyched. The song "Flower" by Jewel is really and honestly a song that COMPLETELY describes me so that's that! ((www.sing365.com -- read em... they're great))
I can't wait for Aub's birthday at HURRICANE'S-- how FUN! Anyone is welcome to come... just let me know kay!
That being said, I have a huge paper to write that I'm blowing people off for so MAYBE I should get started on that one... Love y'all and take care!! <33
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[Sunday
April 17th, 2005
1:38pm] |
Looking back onto this year, I can't help but be completely amazed at how colorful it looks in retrospect. The things I've learned, experienced, and dealt with have made this year one, if not the, best years of my entire life. After reading Annie's journal, I have felt compelled to write a similar one... but don't expect that I'll get everything out the first time. Instead, expect myself and others to comment daily with something new and hilarious that we left off.
THIS YEAR, I LEARNED THAT
* putting on tap shoes and dancing around in the halls does NOT please the black girls underneath us
* to wear flip flops in the shower because people WILL pee while they're in there
* it is easy to learn every word to EVERY rap song known to man because you can hear them playing 24/7, regardless of quiet hours
* when you're tight with your R.A. and the hall director, life is a breeze!
* cleaning is SO over-rated, folding clothes is a thing of the past, and it's suddenly acceptable to wear the same pair of jeans 4 times before washing them
* you can NEVER have enough quarters
* the "walk of shame" is probably the most embarrassing yet hilarious thing to ever happen-- this occurs when you walk into your dorm at 11 a.m. the day after a huge party wearing the same clothes you had on when you left the night before
* girls are HORRIBLE beings that can't control their tempers, hormones, and emotions
* you're never too old to do handstands in the hallway
* it really is OKAY to walk across campus alone at night
* fresh food was wonderful for about 5 minutes... then i got sick of the cobbler and we were OUTTA there!
* waitressing is the BEST way to meet people, make money, AND burn calories!
* the kitchen table is the BEST bed in the world and is best used while talking on the phone through all hours of the night
* DaveFest was one of the BEST times we had all year
* It IS possible to spike hootch. It is also possible to fall into your closet while you're trying to take your pants off
* shaving your legs is NOT necessary
* chello! the ARAB voice really never gets old. ever.
* complaining about going up the hill is a thing of the past. now, we can all just complain because our legs are too muscular to fit into our pants and we all have ended up looking like hulk hogan
* it's never too late to turn on crappy 90's music and dance around on a towel
* pooping reindeer ARE hilarious, despite what anyone thinks
* being hit on by 27 year old men is indeed NASTY and it causes you to want to take a shower immediately
* you can meet some AWESOME people by yelling out of the windows of your dorms
* you can't EVER take too many pictures... honestly.
* yelling "SHOW ME YOUR BOOBS" to random guys is QUITE hilarious
* running around in a hair-dying cap is about twice as bad.... especially when you knock on a random fraternity's door and and to take a picture with them
* random piercings/tattoos/hair dying REALLY does happen
* having sex with a stability ball is TOTALLY legal in all 50 states :)
* the GRINCH. enough said
* calling someone "Penie Jeannie Giney" will annoy them SO BADLY at first, but they'll get used to it, promise :)
* you can never steal too many condoms from health services
* baking pancakes can REALLY be the best time you ever have
* girls fart.
* they burp, too
* in fact, most times, they'll even tell you when they have to poop
* "Jingle Jangling" is not only for pre-schoolers
* when you're in a bed with two other girls and you can't sleep, just take stupid pictures but NEVER SHOW THEM TO ANYONE because you all look horrible in them.
* girls that you NEVER thought would wear pink will :)
* then they'll call you an ass all semester!
* it's ACCEPTABLE to steal an inflatable toy and hold it for ransom, hahaha
* it's ALSO acceptable to scare Katie so badly that she cries (KIM AND JEANNIE)
* it's okay to eat your body weight in chocolate on your birthday
* dressing up in random outfits and running around the hall is something everyone has to experience before they die
* meeting Big Red will brighten your LIFE
* blowing up an air mattress is much harder than it seems
* it's NOT nasty to lick cocoa off of a countertop, nor is it nasty to be dancing on that countertop when a cop busts into the house you're partying at
* there's nothing wrong with dressing up in army clothes and joining the ROTC class for a day
* skim milk does NOT curdle when you leave it in a secret cupboard in the kitchen... but as soon as you think it might, someone will come and throw it away for ya
* if it rains, throw on some nasty clothes and go mud wrestle in front of preston. Beware, though, you'll lose your favorite bracelet and pitch a FIT about it the next day
* some guys at football games have REALLLLLY REALLLLLLY fat necks. But don't worry, you're not even there to see the game anyway- it's more fun to watch the cheerleaders
* don't get an industrial. you WILL bleed gallons of blood, for sure
* smuggling fruit out of fresh food is FUN!
* GET ON MY LEVEL.
* DROP IT LIKE IT'S HOT
* FEELING GROOVY
* the point of the past 3 things: MUSIC accompanies every memory
* when your parents surprise you with two of your best friends from back home, realize that when you WAKE UP and they're in your room, you won't believe it.
* Your dad can NEVER come visit too much. And you can never call your mom too much, either.
* when you're in college, you can WAIT until the last minute to do EVERYTHING because your mom isn't there to YELL at you when you're making noise at 5 in the morning! :o)
* class is DEFINITELY optional and you WILL have those days when you think you might die if you have to go. GO ANYWAY
* for fun, all you need it a bottle of dawn. the bubbles will keep you occupied for hours
* If you twist your ankle once, that's okay. Twice, that sucks. Three times, you're Aubrey.
* guitar is a GOOD way to bond. it is also a good way to get REALLY frustrated
* If you're chipper at 7:30 in the morning, people WILL wonder what your problem is
* you can't EVER have too many pictures of you and your room mate
* If you take dance in college, you WILL hate your teacher.
* Partying with the people you work with is DEFINITELY the best
* Spilling water all over a customer will get you a HUGE tip
* Dropping a plate of honey mustard ALL OVER THE PLACE will not.
... really, this is only the beginning. The comments to this journal will tell the rest.
I <3 my sisters...
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[Sunday
April 17th, 2005
12:41pm] |
She was a queen
Lost within a dream
Misconceived that he was fit to reign
Lies take victims
Seperates them at the seams
Cause them to fall apart
Then move along to better things now
No time permits to open up
When you've been hiding thoughts so strong
She's been holding out for an angel to come along
No reply from the sky
But she just keeps looking up
She just keeps looking up now
She wants to fall in love again...
-crossfade
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[Wednesday
April 13th, 2005
10:25am] |
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Quick update about my LOVELY life!!
Wellll... where do I begin!?
The last few weeks of college have begun and honestly, I think I'm in denial about the fact that I'm leaving. I'm just so scared that if I embrace the end of the year and what comes along with it that I will shut people out and I'm definitely not willing to do that. Honestly, my grades have been suffering a bit because I'm so much more concerned with my FRIENDS right now than getting all A's... I've only got so much time, tho, and I'm going to spend as much time with the people I care about as possible.
For those of you that are unsure, the drama with Jason last week was completely untrue and I did decide to stay with him. I'm amazed-- he has so far surpassed anything I ever expected from him and honestly, I'm finding myself falling harder than I intended to. Last Wednesday was a HORRIBLE day for us in some senses but then on the other hand, it forced me to decide if I really wanted this or not... and I do, I really do and I'm finally assured that he does, too. When we keep this up when school gets out, I'm ready to catch the hell for "making the same mistake twice" but really, I don't think it's a mistake or I wouldn't do it. We'll just see what happens-- I mean of COURSE I'm optimistic about it and I'm gunna fight and give it my all but I'm not going to make thousands of promises because then they'll just fall through. I'm just gunna go with the flow and see how this goes... and if it stays on the track it's already on, I'm gunna be in a lot of trouble 23 days from now. I just really feel something different here.. but I'm not gunna go mushy in here because NO ONE wants to hear that and I realize and understand that... just wanted to let everyone know that things are wonderful because everyone keeps asking! :o)
So as you all probably know, Chad wrecked the Mustang a few weeks ago ((no anger, just happiness that he's all in one piece)) *but*, as of yesterday, the Mustang has been replaced with a gorgeous 5-speed Stealth which JUST HAPPENS to excite me. I'm so thankful to have a car for when I get back... I was so worried I wouldn't and I pitched so many fits about it... but I'm good now and I love it!
My friend Jon has hooked me up with THE BEST job... I'll be doing customer service at Carowinds and I'll still be able to waitress at night! *thumbs UP*-- I'm really looking to make a lot of money this summer so I can start saving for my white mustang and *crosses fingers* a house for my junior year. But we'll see!!
I'm still VERY excited about USC and looking forward to summer even more... I can't wait to be around the people that I miss so much but on the other hand, GAH I'm gunna miss KY...
Well, I honestly don't have THAT much to say... just wanted to let y'all know that I'm still alive... I might have something worthwhile to say sometime soon but until then... <33
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[Thursday
April 7th, 2005
4:34pm] |
i HATE misunderstandings.
i hate girls.
and most of all, i hate being wrong!
but i love my friends! :o)
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[Wednesday
April 6th, 2005
1:51am] |
messy, disorganized, social, tough, outgoing, rarely worries, self revealing, open, risk taker, likes the unknown, likes large parties, makes friends easily, likes to stand out, likes to make fun of people, reckless, optimistic, positive, strong, does not like to be alone, ambivalent about chaos, abstract, impractical, not good at saving money, fearless, trusting, thrill seeker, not rule conscious, enjoys leadership, strange, loves food, abstract, rarely irritated, anti-authority, attracted to the counter culture
^^that's what a personality test said about me :o)
pretty true!
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[Monday
April 4th, 2005
10:02pm] |
Lately, I haven't been able to deal with other people's negativity and it's HORRIBLE but as much as I want to care, I find myself just rolling my eyes at people every time they moan and complain or do something RIDICULOUS.
It's heartless, it really is, but I'm back in that "happy-go-lucky" mode where I'm convinced that nothing can bring me down and I just assume that everyone is that way.
Regardless, I'm sorry if I've been cold to you, short with advice, or quick to get angry. I'm trying to be compassionate right now but I'm having trouble when everyone around me is frowning and all I want to do is smile.
I don't mean to be this way.
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celestial__star's journal